I have been in a relationship with a man for over 35 years but only married for 21 years. We have two children, 26 and 19. I recently found out he has been working with a woman he was sleeping with while we were dating. They have been talking after work. Plus, he calls her when she is not at work. He said it's just to say hello and check up on her. He deletes his call log but I still see the phone bill with all the calls. Of course he keeps his phone on vibrate. I also found out she wasn't the only woman he slept with. What should I do?

-Secretive Phone Calls With Ex

Dear Secretive Phone Calls, Let me let you in on a relationship rule: If you ever find yourself scrutinizing call logs, it's already over. Your husband is obviously being unfaithful to you, definitely emotionally and probably physically too. You should tell him that you are aware of this. Not that you have questions about his phone calls, or that you think his relationship with his ex is suspicious, but that you are aware of what he's doing because he's not even conscientious enough to hide it well, and you want to offer him an opportunity to stop and rebuild trust with you or separate. Thirty-five years is a long time, so I suppose you should check all the boxes by dragging him kicking and screaming to couples therapy as a condition of staying married. It's worth a try! Worst case scenario, it could serve as a place for you to talk about how you'll navigate your relationship with your grown children and how to handle it when, one day in the future, he wants to bring his "friend" as his date to one of their weddings.