In my group of friends, one woman treats me in a way that leaves me confused, and frankly, I don't appreciate her behavior. For example, she once told me, out of the blue, that she doesn't think I am dumb. I found that offensive. And even though we are not close, she asks extremely personal questions, like why I practice my religion, or she asks me to share stories from my childhood even though they are too traumatic to share randomly while getting lunch. She knows I was born in a war zone. Her other habit is to always talk about alcohol at our friends' gatherings even though she knows I don't drink. It makes me feel othered and ostracized. At our friends' gatherings, I notice she is always observing me. And the first time her boyfriend met me, he exclaimed he had heard a lot about me. But it's the small things I notice that give unfriendly vibes. Am I reading too much into this?

-Does She Want to Be Friend or Foe?

Dear Setting Boundaries, It sounds like your friend may not be aware of how her actions are affecting you, or she could be insensitive to your feelings and boundaries. It's important to trust your instincts—if you feel uncomfortable or offended by her behavior, it's valid. You're not reading too much into this; repeated uncomfortable interactions are enough to make anyone question the nature of a friendship. She may be curious about you or seeking a deeper connection, but her approach is inconsiderate given your traumatic background. Her behavior could stem from a lack of social awareness rather than malice. However, it's crucial for your well-being that she respects your boundaries. Consider addressing this directly with her. A candid conversation about how her actions make you feel may clarify her intentions and help her understand your perspective. If she values your comfort and friendship, she will make an effort to change her behavior. If the behavior continues despite the conversation, it might be time to reevaluate the friendship and set more definitive boundaries, including limiting your interaction with her. You have the right to protect your peace and well-being in social situations.